Handling Unwanted Parenting Advice: 8 Tips for a New Mom

Parenthood is a journey filled with joy, challenges, and an overwhelming amount of advice. From well-meaning family members to experts with impressive credentials, it seems like everyone has something to say about how to raise your child. While advice can be invaluable, sifting through it to find what’s truly beneficial can be daunting. Here’s a guide to help you navigate the sea of parenting advice, so you can confidently take to heart what works for your family and ignore what doesn’t.

1. Understand Your Unique Family Dynamics

Before diving into any advice, take a moment to reflect on your family’s unique needs and circumstances. What works for one family might not work for another. Consider your child’s temperament, your family values, and your lifestyle. Understanding these factors will help you discern which advice is relevant and which is not.

2. Evaluate the Source

Not all advice is created equal. When evaluating parenting advice, consider the source:

  • Expert Opinions: Advice from child development specialists, pediatricians, and psychologists is often well-researched and grounded in evidence. However, even experts can have varying opinions, so it’s important to consider how their advice aligns with your family’s needs.
  • Personal Experience: Advice from friends and family who know you well can be valuable, especially if they’ve been through similar situations. However, their experiences are subjective and may not apply to your unique circumstances.
  • Online Sources: Be cautious with advice found online. While there are many reputable parenting blogs and forums, misinformation can spread easily. Cross-reference advice with credible sources and be wary of advice that lacks evidence or seems overly sensational.

3. Focus on Evidence-Based Advice

When evaluating advice, prioritize evidence-based recommendations. This means looking for advice supported by research and clinical studies. Evidence-based advice is typically grounded in science and offers practical strategies that have been tested and proven effective. For example, sleep training methods backed by research are likely to be more reliable than anecdotal recommendations.

4. Trust Your Instincts

As a parent, you have an innate understanding of your child’s needs. While external advice can be helpful, trust your instincts and intuition. If something doesn’t feel right or doesn’t align with your values, it’s okay to set it aside. Your parental instincts are a powerful guide.
​I always like to say, “Just because it worked for you, doesn’t mean it will work for us.”
So, just because your sister did something a certain way with her child, it does not mean that the same will work for you and your child! This brings me to my next point (#5).

5. Be Open to Flexibility

Parenting is not a one-size-fits-all experience. What works for one child or family might not work for another. Be open to experimenting with different strategies and be flexible in adapting advice to suit your specific situation. Remember, parenting is a learning process, and it’s okay to adjust your approach as you go along.

6. Prioritize Your Family’s Well-Being

Ultimately, the well-being of your family should be your top priority. Advice that promotes guilt, stress, or anxiety is not beneficial. Choose advice that supports a healthy, positive, and nurturing environment for both you and your child. If advice makes you feel overwhelmed or inadequate, it might be worth reconsidering.

7. Seek Support and Community

Sometimes, navigating parenting advice can feel isolating. Seek support from a community of parents who share similar values and experiences. Parenting groups, online forums, and local meetups can provide a sense of camaraderie and offer a range of perspectives that might resonate with you.

8. Revisit and Reflect

As your child grows, your parenting approach might need to evolve. Revisit advice periodically and reflect on what’s working and what isn’t. What was relevant at one stage of your child’s development might change as they grow older. Stay adaptable and keep an open mind.

Conclusion

Parenting advice can be a double-edged sword—potentially helpful but also overwhelming. By understanding your unique family dynamics, evaluating the credibility of advice sources, trusting your instincts, and remaining flexible, you can navigate the vast sea of advice with confidence. Remember, the best parenting strategy is one that aligns with your family’s values and supports your child’s individual needs. Embrace the journey, and trust that you’re doing a great job.